chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
