Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
