A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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