I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
