I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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