I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
