Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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