Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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