I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
