Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
