what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
