yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
