Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
nutella sex= disaster
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
