I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
