I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
