so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
