he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
