You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
