but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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