Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My vagina just recognized that song.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
