When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
