Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
