I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
