dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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