if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
