A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
