I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
