when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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