he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
