there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
