check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
