ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
