so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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