Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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