so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
