We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
