Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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