I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
