what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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