i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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