Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
