Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
