thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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