Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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