i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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