so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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