I wannas sexs uuuuu
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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