You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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