In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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