I heard we made out
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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